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Luton Town captain Tom Lockyer has described what he went through after his heart stopped for two minutes and 40 seconds during an on-pitch cardiac arrest on 16 December.
The 29-year-old has revealed for the first time since he collapsed against Bournemouth that it is “out of his hands” if he will ever play the sport again.
“It was just a normal day, and that was the most worrying thing because I felt completely fine,” the Welshman told Sky Sports on Sunday.
“I have been looking for answers since but I have not been able to find any because it was just another day at the office.
“I was running towards the halfway line and I went really lightheaded. I thought I’d be ok in a second but I wasn’t.
“I woke up and the paramedics were there. I knew instantly it was different to my collapse in May. Last time it felt like I woke up from a dream, and this time I woke up from nothingness.
“I could see there was more panic and I was a bit disorientated. I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t move. I was trying to work out what was happening, and I remember thinking, ‘I could be dying here’.
“It was a surreal thought to have, not being able to respond, and you can see the panic going on.”
Lockyer was fitted with an implantable cardioverter defibrillator after spending five days in hospital.
“Grateful to be alive”
He added: “I am going to be dictated to by the medical staff and specialists. If there is a chance I could play again – and I am not going to do anything against medical advice – then I would love to.
“But it is far too early to say. There are tests that have to happen in the background. But I wouldn’t write it off yet.
“If I am not allowed to play again then I can say I captained Luton in the Premier League and I have scored a Premier League goal. I am very fortunate that I have had high moments in my career and scoring a Premier League goal is something you dream of as a kid.
“I am incredibly grateful to be alive. I have the device fitted now, and I almost feel invincible.”
Earlier on Sunday, Manchester United beat Luton 2-1 in the Premier League, with two early goals from in-form striker Rasmus Hojlund. Forward Carlton Morris responded for Rob Edwards’ side but it wasn’t enough on the day.
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